What Inner child healing means to me
What does inner child mean?
The term inner child is being used frequently in the self-help realm today. It is often confused to be a child living and breathing within our bodies. However, that is not what an inner child is. So what does the “inner child” really mean? The inner child is the reflection of a person at different stages of their childhood. It relates to our feelings of curiosity, enthusiasm and creativity we had as a child. These are the unconscious childlike qualities we are born with that we keep with us unconsciously throughout our lives.
As children, we tend to hold onto emotions, hopes, beliefs and memories which form the inner child dialogue of our subconscious brains.
Being highly absorbent of our environments as children causes us to constantly take in every experience and word said to us. Each of us has an inner child present throughout our adult life. The lived experiences we’ve had keep playing in our minds subconsciously and as adults, we tend to make decisions and choices based on these events. Our inner child is always trying to communicate with us.
How does the inner child get wounded and how do you know if it needs healing?
Inner child wounds occur during the formative stages of our lives as children. As children, we repress emotions such as anger, sadness, grief, and rebellion. All of these emotions that school and our parents taught us to be “bad” to express. We are told that “boys don’t cry” or “don’t say what you really think” and these statements pave the way for us to suppress our trauma out of fear.
Trauma could be you moving away to a different country whilst leaving your friends behind, your parents fighting and screaming, someone not saying hi to you, physical abuse, and even words said during an argument. Trauma doesn’t have to only be physical abuse, it can be the smallest things we find hurtful that we failed to express. We often think as adults we have gotten over the pain over the years, however, these wounds keep showing up in unexpected ways in our lives.
The unexpected ways can be you lashing out at your mother after she asks you again to wash the dishes and you wondering why you got so upset suddenly. The inner child lashing out feels exactly like the part of your personality that reacts like a child that you have no control over.
Most of our mind is subconscious - the subconscious mind is most powerful as it’s formed from 0-12 (years) - our core beliefs, our selves, and the world around
A few signs that your inner child needs healing could be if you have found yourself feeling highly agitated or irritated with the smallest things around you, this could be a sign your inner child is feeling uncomfortable. If you feel the need to be overly independent and not need anyone all the time that could also be another sign. Destructive behaviors such as drinking, shopping, gambling, and overeating are signs too. Feeling unmotivated, sleeping problems, increased anxiety, being avoidant, being distant in relationships and fearing rejection from your partner too are some signs that your inner child is calling out for healing.
What is inner child healing?
Inner child healing is a form of therapy that involves connecting to parts of yourself that were hurt as a child. It involves finding ways to connect to these parts of yourself through mindfulness, journaling, listening, therapy, and many other ways. Oftentimes when you begin connecting to your inner child, you reveal patterns or incidents that had hurt you as a child. This involves going back to a traumatic or impacting incident and understanding what you felt as a child at that age.
Inner child healing ties in with acceptance. Accepting the mistakes you made, accepting the wrong you did and the wrongs that were done to you. Many times people are unwilling to accept their own flaws and failures and this stops us from accepting the same for others. Therefore, the cycle of suffering becomes endless and is difficult to breakthrough. Healing your inner child gives you the ability to break this cycle and move forward freely as an adult.
The intention to want to start the journey and work on yourself in itself is healing and therapeutic.