Shame is something that we all have felt through multiple stages of our life This deep impending feeling of embarrassment and the feeling of wanting to disappear into thin air. This often happens when we feel that we have broken the unsaid rules of social norms that we live. These norms have been created and imposed by society and by breaking them we feel ashamed of ourselves. This could be mispronouncing a word or tripping down the stairs whilst everyone watches you. Shame comes up with even the smallest of things and we feel small and extremely bad about ourselves. 

There are so many feelings and behaviors associated with feeling shame such as feeling used, unappreciated, rejected, constantly worrying about other people’s opinions, being a perfectionist, feeling like an outsider and so many more. Shame can be felt excessively due to unhealed and unprocessed childhood trauma, bullying, rejections, and failures that manifest into your adult life and cause you to feel ashamed about everything you say or do.

People who feel shame have a tendency to internalize and personalize everything that happens to them. If something goes wrong it is often an instinct to say “It was my fault”.

Shame is a survival emotion and without it, we wouldn’t feel the need to adhere to laws and customs. It can be great to keep us in check. 

Whilst shame is a normal human survival emotion, it can certainly be very negative and threatening to our well-being when felt excessively.